She's Gonna Fly
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: He said her name again, softer this time, and she launched herself into his strong arms, burying her face in his broad chest. “I’m sorry, Bobby,” she sobbed as she clung to him. He wrapped his arms around her petite frame and held her close.


Okay, my peeps. This is a more sad songfic, about Alex's mom. I get tired of tormenting Bobby, and Alex's family seems so perfect... So I decided to change all of that. Please remember to review, and you will need tissues for this!

Disclaimer: They ain't mine... (sigh)

This songfic is for all of my fans who were so happy to see me back... I love ya'll!

"Hi, Mom," Alex said softly, crouching down in front of her mother's chair. "How are you feeling today?" The older woman looked at her blankly for a minute, then said, "I'm sorry, dear. What is your name?" Alex bit her lip and forced a smile to her face, then said, "It's Alex, Mom. Remember?"

"Alex? That's a lovely name. Same as my little girl. Have you seen my little girl, dear? She's almost nine years old. They grow up so fast." A far away look appeared in her eye as she continued to ramble, and Alex just listened and nodded sadly.

Bobby watched the exchange with a heavy heart. All of his life, he'd grown up being used to his mother going through spells when she couldn't remember him. And he had accepted that as part of her condition. But he knew that his partner had gown up in a very devoted and loving home, with plenty of love and support to sustain her, the opposite of his own. And to see her struggle to come to terms with her mother's illness broke his heart.

A sudden movement broke his train of thought, and he looked up to see Alex rush past him. But before she disappeared through the door, he saw the unmistakable sheen of tears in her loving eyes, and a lump rose in his throat.

_This is the woman who had all the answers _

_The one I would lean on for comfort, for strength _

_She's never forgotten one grandchild's birthday _

_Now she can't remember my name _

_And it makes me so angry, I shake my fist _

_And cry out to the Heavenly One _

_Why would you play such a cold hearted trick?_

_I thought your job was to love _

_And the answer came down from above_

Swallowing a sob, Alex smiled weakly at her mother, then walked as fast as she could out of the room, out of the house, and to a familiar retreat. Rain was lightly falling, but she ignored it as she leaned against the old oak tree. Sinking to her knees, she finally let out the tears she had been holding back all day, and she buried her face in her hands and sobbed. As she cried, anger begin to build and swell inside of her, and she looked up at the blue black night sky.

Balling her fists at her side, she raised her face and arms skyward, shouting, "God, why are you doing this to her? Why? She's always been faithful to you! Why are you torturing her like this?" Somewhere in the distance, a flash of lightning lit up the sky, and thunder rumbled lowly. Then she sky opened up, and rain soaked her, washing her angry tears away.

Standing in the yard, with the rain pouring down on her, something spoke to her.

"_She's gonna fly when her time here is through _

_First she'll have to let go of some things she can't use _

_Cause people and places _

_Memories and faces _

_Are just way too heavy, it seems _

_To carry on angel's wings"_

"Alex?" A deep voice rumbled over the rain, and she turned to see Bobby standing a few feet away from her. Suddenly she saw everything in a new light as she looked into his chocolate eyes, so full of love and concern.

He had supported her through everything, even before they had become involved. He understood and sympathized with her in ways no one else could, and lately she had been pushing him farther and farther away. But no matter how hard she pushed, it seemed, he never faltered. And she had been taking that fact for granted far too much lately.

He said her name again, softer this time, and she launched herself into his strong arms, burying her face in his broad chest. "I'm sorry, Bobby," she sobbed as she clung to him. He wrapped his arms around her petite frame and held her close, pressing his face into her hair.

"It's okay, Alex. It's okay," he murmured, stroking her soaking hair. "I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere."

_This is the woman who saw things so clearly _

_The one who could pick out one crumb on the floor _

_She saw through a white lie, saw me through love's eyes _

_She hardly can see anymore _

_And it makes me so sad, and it just isn't fair _

_Why should so much be taken away?_

_But when I cry out for all that she's lost _

_I silently hear someone say_

The rain stopped suddenly, and Bobby ran his hands up and down her back, then kissed her hair and whispered into her ear. "Come on, Alex. Let me take you home." She nodded slowly, and he slipped his arm around her waist and guided her out of the backyard.

BABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABA

Later that night, Alex stared blankly at the T.V. with her head on Bobby's chest, and his arms wrapped tightly around her middle. She sighed softly and snuggled closer against him, and he kissed the crown of her head, inhaling her unique fragrance deeply.

"I love you, Bobby," she said suddenly, and she could hear the smile in his voice as he said, "Love you too, Alex." She turned her head to meet his eyes, and she kissed him tenderly, using her hand to pull him closer to her. He groaned into her mouth, and she clung to him tighter, loving him with everything she had inside of her.

He suddenly swept her up in his arms and carried her into the bedroom, gently laying her on the bed, then continued his assault on her neck with his lips.

An hour later, Alex laid awake in the bed, gazing down lovingly at the dark head that rested on her breast. "I love you so much, Bobby," she whispered quietly, smiling as she felt his chest rise and fall slowly as he took each breath. "My Bobby."

BABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABABA

The phone began to shriek, and Alex sighed as she slowly rose to her feet, rubbing her expanding stomach. She could hear the shower running as she picked up the phone, and she held it to her ear and said, "Hello?"

_Alex?_

"Phil? What's wrong?"

_It's mom, Alex. She had a stroke. They don't think she's gonna make it. You need to get Bobby to drive you down here to Bellevue as fast as you can._

The phone dropped from her hand as a sharp pain tore through her stomach, and she cried out and doubled over in pain, clutching at her swollen belly.

"Alex? What's wrong?" Bobby demanded from the top of the stairs. He took the steps two at a time until he was at her side, fear clutching his heart when she let out another pained cry.

"Oh my God, Bobby. This can't be happening. She's too little. She won't survive!" she cried, and Bobby lifted her into his arms and carried her tiny frame down to his car, driving as fast as he dared to the nearest hospital. Ten minutes later, he pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, then carried his partner through the emergency room doors.

"My wife's in labor," he stated hurriedly to a nurse, and two orderlies quickly appeared with a wheelchair. He carefully placed Alex in the chair, then followed behind them as they rushed her into the maternity ward. As soon as they helped her into a bed, a doctor rushed in and examined her, while Bobby stayed close to her head and protectively held her hand.

"How far along are you?" the doctor demanded, and Bobby answered, "She's twenty five weeks." The man nodded and continued the exam while a nurse ran an I.V. into her arm and lifted her shirt away from her stomach.

Alex screamed again, and the doctor suddenly shouted, "This baby's in distress! We're going to need to do an emergency C-section, now!" "But she's too little! She won't survive! She's too little!" Alex sobbed, and the doctor tried to reassure her. "Just calm down, Mrs. Goren. We have one of the best neo natal units in the country. We're gonna do everything we can. But we've gotta get you to the O.R. right now."

Two more nurses appeared in the room, and they quickly pushed Alex's bed out of the room and into the O.R., with Bobby running alongside them. In the O.R., a nurse tossed Bobby a set of blue scrubs, and he hurried to put them on while another nurse pushed anesthesia into Alex's I.V.

"Please don't leave me, Bobby," Alex begged, and he shook his head and kissed her lips softly, then smoothed back her matted hair. They both watched as a nurse set up a small curtain in front of them over Alex's stomach, and Bobby found Alex's hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"Okay, Mrs. Goren, you're going to feel a tugging sensation, okay?" the head surgeon asked, and she nodded weakly, clutching Bobby's hand. Bobby peered around the curtain and watched with his breath held as they carefully cut into his wife's stomach, then gently pulled the tiny baby out. Instantly they laid the baby on a table and rubbed it, trying to make it take it's first breath.

"Come on, honey," Bobby whispered, watching as the nurses and doctors fought to save their baby. A lifetime seemed to pass silently, until a tiny cry pierced the still air.

"We need to get her to neo natal, right now," the doctor stated, and Alex looked at Bobby and said, "Go with her, Bobby. Stay with her." He nodded and kissed her forehead, then followed the nurse as she wheeled the cart out of the O.R. and down the hall.

The next night, Bobby sat by Alex's bed, holding her hand and watching her sleep. Every few seconds, his eyes flew to the clear bassinet where his daughter lay sleeping, and he thanked God again that she would be all right, that they both would. Suddenly his cell phone vibrated against his hip, and he sighed and walked into the hallway, then pulled it out of his pocket and answered it.

"Goren."

_Bobby? Are you two okay?_

"Phil? Yeah, we're fine. Alex went into labor last night, and there was some trouble. But they're both fine." He heard his brother in law sigh deeply, and he frowned. "What's wrong?"

_Our mom died. She had had a stroke yesterday, and she died about eight thirty last night._

Bobby nearly dropped the phone, but he quickly recovered and asked, "Eight thirty?"

_Yeah, why?_

"They couldn't get her to breathe at first, but they said she took her first breath at eight thirty two." He was met with silence.

_"She's gonna fly when her time here is through _

_First she'll have to let go of some things she can't use _

_Cause people and places _

_Memories and faces _

_Are just way too heavy, it seems _

_To carry on angel's wings"_

Several hours later, Alex watched as Bobby slept in the chair beside her, his head resting on the edge of the mattress. She turned her head slightly to look at her daughter's bassinet, and a soft sigh escaped her lips. "I miss you, Mom," she whispered, looking through her window at the starry night sky. "But I know you're much happier now. Just don't forget to remember all of us."

And somehow, she felt her mother's presence there in the room with her, and she knew that she would always watch over her and her daughter.

Reaching over, she placed her hand on her husband's head and drifted off to sleep, with a content smile on her face and a heart full of love.

_And oh, the wonders she'll see _

_And I know she'll remember to watch over me_

_She's gonna fly when her time here is through _

_First she'll have to let go of some things she can't use _

_Cause people and places _

_Memories and faces _

_Are just way too heavy, it seems _

_To carry on angel's wings _

_Oh, to carry on angel's wings_

The End

A/N: (sniff) See? Sad. Hope ya'll liked it, though. Please review!


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